So Much To Tell You
by Opix
Summary: After being in hospital for a year, Yuna is sent to a boarding school, but she suffers badly from the stress of her past, and won't say a word to anyone. Can she recover? Full Summary Inside
1. Prologue

_**I will say this once. I do not own Final Fantasy. Anything I do own will be stated at the beginning of the chapter. This story is based on the book So Much To Tell You by John Marsden, a book that I love very much and wanted to do a continue on it in Final Fantasy, but I realised that I had to re-write the book in my style with some editing of the storyline first. PLEASE DO NOT FLAME, but reviews would be REALLY appreciated, especially with ideas on improving my writing. I will not say 'I'll only update with ... reviews' because I don't think that's fair if reviews are slow or if I only have one fan, however, like I said, I would reall REALLY appreciate reviews.**_

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**_SUMMARY: Yuna is scarred by her past and withdraws. Speaking to no one, she has been in hopspital for a year after 'The Incident'. She's then sne to a boarding school in an attempt at her recovery. Will she recover and find friends, as well as love, or has she gone too far into the darkness?_**

_**So Much To Tell You**_

Prologue

"She's not going to get any better here. I think it would be best to put her in a normal environment. Maybe a boarding school would be best. It might make a huge difference."

"But what if nothing happens? It'll be a waste of time. Surely she still needs to recover here."

"She's been here for a year now. If something was going to happen here, it would have happened by now. If the boarding school doesn't help, we can always bring her back into hospital."

I hate it when they talk about me like this. Just because I don't talk, doesn't mean I can't hear. They keep making decisions like this for me. They never ask. It's not like I'll answer, but there are other ways to communicate besides talking. I do have feelings, well hidden, secret feelings that are always well controlled and never see the light of day, but still feelings. I guess I should be used to it. It's happened ever since the incident.

End Of Prologue


	2. New School, Same Problems

_**So Much To Tell You**_

_**Chapter 1 – New School, Same Problems**_

_November 5_

Today was my third day at Besaid Boarding School. Not a very inventive name, if you ask me. But no one will. No one ever asks me anything. Anyway, BBS is a mixed boarding school, with separate dorms of course. It's quite big, and on the first day I got lost. It was really confusing, because I couldn't ask anyone for directions. I wanted to. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I want to be silent forever. I just find it impossible to form words.

Everyone keeps staring at my face like I'm some kind of monster. I got the huge scar on the side of my face about a year ago, when the incident happened. Everyone always stares. I pressed myself against the wall as I walked, pushing so hard that it hurt. I was almost going through the wall. If I did, I'd probably fall and die. I wonder what it's like to die. I wonder, would I be free?

You're probably wondering why a silent girl is saying all this. Well, writing this at least.

It all started in English earlier today. Our teacher, Mr Hamasaki, set us all the task of writing a journal every night, including the boys. Everyone got an empty journal book and to write in each night for Prep – this school's name for the time that we have to do our homework. He says that he won't read them, just flick through very briefly to make sure that we're actually writing in them, and not just doodling, or doing nothing in them. I hope it's true. Yevon, I'd die if anyone ever read this. Listen to me, nattering on about how I feel. I swore when I came here that I wouldn't get attached to anything, wouldn't let my feelings out. I must keep to this, cause you can't trust anyone, right? They'll just betray you, won't they?

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_Well, that's my prep done for today _Yuna thought, as she walked away from her next class, Sport. She was at the bottom of the reserves for tennis, which was her sport, so it wouldn't matter if she missed it. She'd never be needed. Besides the teachers would never have a go at her for it.

_I think I'll just head back to my do…_Yuna's thoughts were interrupted when she bumped into someone.

"Sorry!" A male voice said. She looked up to see a tall blonde with tanned skin.

"Are you okay?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned, unlike most people she came across. _Why is he being so nice? _Yuna wondered, staring at him. _He's probably thinking he'll get into trouble if he doesn't act nice. But he seems so genuine…_

Yuna got up and ran off before the confused blonde could get another word in. _Why was he being so genuinely nice? _Yuna thought as she walked up to her dorm, which was empty, due to the fact that everyone else was in Sport. _No one's ever genuinely nice to me, it's all fake. They think I can't see through their act, but it's so obvious. Why do they even bother?_

She looked out of her window to see everyone in Sport, laughing, messing around, talking, and generally having fun. Kind of like I used to, before I died. Actually, thinking about it, I'm sort of the living dead. My body sure, there's a scar on my face, but my body's fine apart form that. But my soul died a long time ago. I don't live, I only exist. But in some ways, that's okay. It's nice to be able to shrink away into a world of nothing, to be completely free from this world. I'm just scared that if I go in, I'll never come out. Although lately, that thought is staring to seem a bit friendlier.

End Of Chapter 1

Am I talking about Tidus, or am I using the latest trick of using Shuyin or Gippal instead? Who knows?

I hope you liked it, I'm hoping to write and update lots over the holidays. Please no flames, but constructive criticism would be gladly accepted. I know it's short and for anyone that cares I'm sorry. I haven't written anything in a while but I'm hoping the next chapters will be longer.

Rhi xxx


	3. Journal Issues

_**Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate it. By the way, as much as I'd love to say this is my idea, it is based (sorta loosely, but whatever) on the book by John Marsden.**_

_**So Much To Tell You**_

_**Chapter 2 – Journal Issues**_

_November 7_

Well, I haven't seen that blonde haired boy again. Not that I really expect to, I guess. I mean, why should I see him again?

Well, I'm currently in Prep writing this. We each have our own desks to decorate. Mine is plain though. No posters, so pictures, nothing. Just my school equipment. Some of the girls have covered their desks in stickers, pictures and personal items. Rikku, the hyper girl In our dorm has some cuddly toys on hers. She keeps getting told off for talking – we're supposed to be silent. But people talk, they pass notes, they exclaim when they make mistakes or are confused. But this all flows round my desk. Everyone seems to have already given up on trying to be friendly to me, which suits me just fine. Now I can sink away with minimal notice. Not like last night.

Most people in our dorm have their own covers, instead of the school's grey ones. And Rikku's are a very blue colour, like the sky at night, with white stars that are incomplete. I was in bed first and I was staring at them, trying to get them to fit together, because they're like a jigsaw. "They do fit together, y'know, but it took me ages to work it out." When I heard Rikku say this, I lay down and hid my head in my pillow. I don't like being noticed. At all. "Hey, there's no need to be embarrassed, y'know, you're not the only person to try and put them together. And it is kinda fun. Y'know…" That was all I heard. I switched off after that. Why didn't she let it go? I guess she's really talkative. She seems so secure of herself. So easy.

What am I doing? I can't write this! I can't believe I am actually writing about my feelings, let alone the people around me! I have to stop writing in this diary. I don't care how much trouble I get in. I don't even care if it kills me. I cannot let myself continue like this. What if someone gets hold of this and reads it? I'd be toast! Not like I care what anyone else thinks. If I did, I would have persuaded the hospital to give me plastic surgery on my face, to get rid of my hideous scar. But to let them inside…I've spent too long controlling my emotions to let that all slip away. The wall is finally thick enough that people leave me to myself. I can't ruin that because of a stupid English assignment in a stupid boarding school that my stupid mother sent me to without even asking.

I can't believe I even wrote that just now. I cannot write another word in this diary.

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Yuna jumped out of her Prep seat and ran up to her dorm, carrying the journal with her. Everyone stopped working and stared at her as she jumped out of the chair that had fallen carelessly onto the floor.

"Yuna, what's wrong?" the teacher asked, sounding rather concerned about her sudden outburst. Yuna didn't even turn around as she ran. _I've got to get out of here_ she thought as she travelled through BBS.

"Hey, where are you going?" Suddenly, a strong pair of arms grabbed Yuna round the waist and stopped her in her tracks. Despite her struggles, her captor refused to let her go.

"Hey, it's okay! It's me, remember?" Yuna turned around, only to find herself face to face with the blonde haired boy that she had bumped into a few days ago.

"What's wrong?" he asked, a worried expression appearing on his face. _I wish I could tell you_ Yuna thought grimly. She shook her head and turned to walk away when she was stopped.

"It's okay. You don't have to say if you don't want to. By the way, I'm Tidus. What's your name? He asked, sounding friendly. Yuna just stared at him, with a longing to speak. _I wish I could tell you, I honestly do_ she thought sadly. _Although it's not like anyone would listen to what I have to say._

"Oh, you're Yuna, aren't you? Tidus asked, suddenly sounding a bit uneasy as the realization of who she was dawned upon him. Yuna nodded her head slowly before running to her dorm drowning in her self pity before Tidus could react. _I hope she's okay_ he thought.

_I can't believe I saw him again_ Yuna thought. She threw her unwanted journal carelessly onto her bed. She sat down on a nearby chair, staring at her journal. _I can't believe the things I've written in there_. After what seemed like forever, she heard footsteps closely followed by the sound of a door opening. The other girls in the dorm had arrived, and were nervously walking in.

"Yuna, are…are you okay?" Lulu, a girl with midnight black hair asked anxiously. Yuna sighed. _Why do they pretend to care?_ She thought, rather annoyed. She reluctantly nodded, and turned her head away from the others.

"Yunie, what's wrong?" Rikku asked. Irritated, Yuna got up and left the room, leaving everyone staring after her.

"Hey, what's this?" lulu said, gesturing to Yuna's forgotten journal, lying on the bed. She walked over to it and picked it up, everyone crowding around her.

_**Hope you like it, I'll try to update at least once more before Xmas for you guys! Love ya! Please review if you have the time, but no flamers please!**_


	4. Friends

_**So Much To Tell You **_

_**Chapter 3 – Friends**_

_November 23_

I can't believe I have to write this. But when Mr Hamasaki saw I hadn't been writing in my journal, he asked to talk to me at the end of the lesson. He had told me that while it was up to me if I continued my journal or not, he was worried about all the emotions I never expressed and what it was 'doing to me'. He said that wihle it wasn't his place to tell me what to do, he would sleep easier if he knew I was expressing myself somehow, even if no-one else ever knew what I was feeling. He sounded so genuine and looked so disappointed when I had stopped writing it that it had stumped me. I was speechless. Not that I ever say anything, I know, but . . . I guess the 'correct term' for it would be 'unable to think'.

So I nodded. I noticed that when I did this, he smiled and said "You'd better head off to class now. Here, I'll write you a pass, so your teacher knows where you've been"

Well, quite a lot has happened that I could write about. I wonder if I should. Would it be okay? What if someone read it? Should I even care? Well, I guess I shouldn't. But, it's so hard. I guess I'll write a few things, just the main events though, just in case.

_Nov 7_

Well, after my last entry, I kinda freaked and ran out of prep, and I guess I freaked everyone else out, cause I after reaching my dorm I sat there and when everyone else came back from prep at the time we're supposed to leave, they hung around in the doorway and slowly shuffled in really nervously, all huddled together, staring at me. I couldn't handle it, all the piercing stares, all the tension in the room. I ran out again, stupidly leaving this book lying easily visible on my bed, the pale blue book standing out like a sore thumb against the grey school sheets. Anyone could have easily picked it up and read it.

The next day, Rikku and Lulu walked over to me. Confidently, as if I was entirely normal. This made me feel a bit better, like I could be their friend, not the silent freak they are forced to share a dorm with.

"Can we talk to you?" Rikku asked. "It's about yesterday" At this point, Lulu elbowed Rikku. Hard. This made me smile. It was quite amusing, to be honest.

"I'm sorry, Yuna. She doesn't know how to be tactful. Please ignore her and don't let it upset you. We just came to give you this," Lulu said kindly. "Here." She handed me my journal. This journal. The same journal that I've written everything about my early experience at BBS. I must have looked horrified, since Rikku quickly added "But no one read it. Lulu picked it up before anyone else could grab it."

"It's been locked under my bed in the wooden box we each get where we can keep our private possessions. No one read it, I swear." Lulu added, smiling in a friendly manner. I just smiled gratefully and looked intently at my feet, feeling a bit nervous that someone was talking to me.

"Well, if you want anything, or someone to talk to, we're right here for you, okay?" I nodded, my gaze still lingering on my feet.

_Nov 18_

Well, on 18th November a lot of stuff happened. Well, it's not really _that_ important, but . . . well, it is important in my eyes. Anyway, it was lunchtime, and I was leaning on the wall, thinking when Tidus was walking towards me.

"Hey, Yuna," he grinned, waving at me. I smiled and waved back gingerly, then returned to my previous thoughts. However, Tidus stopped in front of me as I was resting on the wall.

"We're going to get some food. Probably McDonalds or Burger King. You wanna come?" His offer honestly shocked me. No one ever asked me to do anything with them. Well, not since what my dad did.

"Dude, you _can't_ be serious" an Al-Bhed guy named Gippal, who wears an eye patch over one eyes because he thinks it looks cool. He can be really cocky and is rather full of himself, yet somehow he's got half the girls in school in love with him. His biggest fan is Rikku, although I bet she'll never admit it. I know that her and Gippal go way back, I heard her talking to Talim, another one of the girls in my dorm, about it.

Standing next to Gippal was Baralai. He was a much nicer person than Gippal. He had pure white hair and a dark tan. He was really intelligent and was the logical one out of himself, Tidus and Gippal.

"Gippal, don't be like that. She's been through enough already without you adding to it," Baralai hissed at his Al-Bhed companion. Tidus then rolled his eyes and said "Come on guys, she's okay. Just a bit quiet."

"Yeah, and that's putting it lightly," muttered Gippal. But I heard it. I knew I wasn't wanted. As usual. So when Tidus asked if I was coming, I shook my head vigorously and ran off, refusing to let my forming tears fall. Once I reached my dorm, however, no tears would come. I had almost been able to spend some time with Tidus. I should have known it was too good to be true.

Anyway, back to the present. I think I'm gonna get some chips from the chip shop.

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Yuna placed her journal under her bed, making sure that it was out of sight. Her hand then hit something smooth and hard, and she found the lockable box that Lulu had talked about. It was unlocked, and inside there were three pegs to hand sets of keys on. There were only teo sets of keys, however, one to use, a spare set, and the third peg had a piece of laminated paper hanging on it.

_This second spare copy is in the Headmistresses office. If you lose both of your sets, you can ask the Head for her set to be copied so that you can still access this box._

_That's a clever idea_, Yuna thought as she placed her journal inside and removed one set of keys. She carefully locked the wooden box. Undecided on what to do with her keys, she put them in an empty jewellery box and placed the box in one of the drawers by her bed. She then walked out of the room, heading off to get some lunch.

Walking towards Charlie's Chips, it hit Yuna like a ton of bricks. _How am I supposed to order?_ She thought sadly, her silence being a dreadful curse at times like this. _Wait a second. Is that…? It is. Tidus is here!_ Yuna sighed with relief. She walked into Charlie's Chips to be greeted by Tidus, although Gippal had a look of disgust on his face.

"Hey, Charlie, get another load of chips for us!" Tidus yelled to what appeared like no-one.

"Why?" a gruff voice yelled, apparently coming from the greasy kitchen.

"Cause a friend of mine just walked in. Jeez." Tidus shouted back, so loudly that Yuna jumped. This caused Gippal to snort loudly, provoking a punch in the arm from both Tidus and Baralai. Gippal rolled his eyes, rubbed his now sore arms and shut his mouth.

"'Ere ya go lads. Oh, and a lady too" Charlie added when he saw Yuna. She simply turned her head and looked out the window to her right. When Charlie saw her face he quickly shut up, causing a warning look from Tidus. Charlie didn't say anything more. The boys picked up the chips and handed one portion to Yuna. She gave a weak smile as her way of saying 'thank you'. She stood up and went to leave.

"Hey, where are you going?" Baralai asked, seeming a bit confused. Yuna looked at Charlie, then at Gippal. She said nothing, but her meaning was obvious. "Oh." Yuna walked out, leaving Tidus and Baralai confused.

What's her problem?" Gippal asked, glad that Yuna was gone. Although the look on his face made his feelings for her perfectly clear.

**Tidus P.O.V.**

_I can't believe this_ he thought, debating if he should go after Yuna _How can they be so mean? She's alright, just quiet. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that. That's it. She needs a friend. I'll go find her, I've got to_. His issue resolved, Tidus stood up abruptly.

"You're not going after her" Charlie said in disbelief.

"There's no way you're going after little miss Silent Freak." Gippal sneered, a harshness in his voice that I had only heard one before. He surprised me, but my mind was made up.

"She's my friend, and she's upset. No thanks to you." I shot back, and left.

**Normal P.O.V.**

Yuna was sitting at a lonely picnic table in the nearby park, picking at her food when Tidus spotted her. She jogged over to her table.

"Hey" he said gently, not wanting to startle Yuna. She looked up, but quickly looked down again. "Aww, come on, don't be like that" he said, but she didn't look up. Her gaze fixed upon the wooden table. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't agree with Gippal, or Charlie for that matter. They're being their usual selves – stupid asses." Yuna didn't budge. "Can I sit here?" Yuna nodded.

**Tidus P.O.V.**

_Well, she let me stay. That's something, I guess. I hope no one in her dorm bullies her like this. Maybe I should find out._

"Yuna, is a girl called Rikku in your dorm? Or Lulu maybe?" I asked, trying to be friendly. Yuna just stared at me for about a minute. Then a miracle happened. She nodded. Okay, not a miracle exactly, but communication.

"Cool. Cause they're friends of mine. Do you guys hang out much?" I asked, feeling proud of myself, but then I felt that I might be pushing her to much. But apparently, I wasn't. I think she was about to answer (somehow) when guess who bounced over?

"Tidus! Oh, hey Yunie!" Rikku jumped in. She started bouncing from one foot to the other. "Did I interrupt anything?" she asked, smiling.

"Nah. Just eating lunch. Wanna join us?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm meeting Lulu and her 'Just A Friend' here anyways" Rikku said extremely quickly, a sly grin forming on her face. I just laughed.

"Hey, sorry we're late, ya" a large Besaidian with bright orange hair in a style that defied gravity said. "Tidus, how are ya man?"

"I'm good thanks. " I laughed.

"Yuna, this is Wakka, a friend of mine" Lulu said as she sat down. "And nothing more" she hissed at Rikku who just grinned.

"Do you…know her?" asked Wakka, unsure of what else to say.

"We sure do! Yunie's in our dorm!" Rikku yelled, much louder than necessary.

**Normal P.O.V.**

_Yunie? Why's she calling me 'Yunie'?_ Yuna thought. Everyone seemed to mirror her thoughts, since they all had strange looks, and Tidus went "Yunie? Where does _that_ come from?"

"I think it's cool. It's my new nickname for Yuna."Rikku stated confidently. Everyone except Yuna rolled their eyes, but Yuna was too busy staring at the table to notice.

"Hey, Yuna, what's up, ya?" Wakka asked, trying to sound friendly-without-being-false.

"Yeah, Yunie. You can tell us. We're your friends after all" Rikku smiled. _They…want to be my friends? _Yuna thought. _Maybe thing will start to look up now._

**End of chapter 3.**

Sorry it took foreeeever to get this up, I finished writin it a week or so ago but kept forgetting to type it up! Sorry xD Anyway, it's much longer than chapter 2 (This is about 7 pages, chapter 2 was about 3 pages long. You do the maths) I hope to get Chapter 4 up sooner. Please review, construtive criticism welcomed, but please don't flame, it upsets me sniff


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